In Search of the Gaze

 I have become very interested in the concept of the Gaze and the reverse gaze between the subject and object, and the screen upon which we project our desires that is created at the intersection of the two.  We are subconsciously aware of the presence of the Other that surrounds us, and as our minds seek to label and identify, to keep ourselves isolated in the safe and orderly realm of the symbolic, we can be suddenly reminded that we exist as a visible entity, and that our desires are merely a stain upon the screen that separates our individuality from the lack.

  

For whatever reason, we feel shame at the realization of our existence.  Even the term "stain" coined in the theories of Lacan has negative connotations associated with it.  Why is it that we feel the need to hide from the Gaze that the Other imposes on us.  Why must we separate ourselves from the womb of the universe that we, despite how much we scream and yell of our individuality amongst our peers, are inseparably a part of?  There is an insatiable need to force the predilections of our identity upon the Gaze of the Other, but what is actually being seen?  Will the reality of our identity be too traumatic for us to realize?

 There are so many questions I want to explore on this subject, and I feel that the photogram is the perfect medium for me to conduct my research.  It captures the metaphorical "Stain" directly onto a visible medium in ways that we are not used to seeing, almost like it presents its own perspective.  There is a distortion as well in the way the image is processed that is very attractive to me: the randomness of the aberrations inherent in the technique, the pull of curiosity to see into the image, to explore and understand the image before me.  It's almost like a physical manifestation of the invisible screen which holds the world we wish to see. 

In the case of the photogram, it removes the bias of our personal desires and blurs the form, leaving us staring into the lack of an image that is completely open to being filled with our personal projections.  I take from the realm of the Surrealists the concept that a distortion or breaking of reality brings us closer to its truth than an absolute representation, and I'm hoping that working in this medium will allow me to present the presence of our bodies in a way that invites us to consider looking through the screen and uncovering what lies within the Gaze of the Other.